Missy in Heat

Angela went up to her mom and ask if she could take Missy for a walk. Her mom said no, that Missy was in heat. Angela asked,  "What is heat?" Mom said, "Go ask your Dad, he's outside working on the car." Angela goes outside and ask her Dad the same question. Dad says, "Go get the leash and bring her here." She goes and gets Missy and brings her back on a leash. Her Dad takes a grease rag and soaks it in Gasoline and swipes her bottom with it.  "Now you can take her around the block one time." Angela goes down the street and comes back with the leash and no Missy. Dad says "Where is Missy?"  Angela said,  "Missy ran out of gas and another dog pushed her down the street."

Bus Driver's Parents

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

Rooster Call

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!