Monica's Cheeks

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.

Side Job

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table."Thanks," she said. "But I only charge $20." "Twenty bucks for the entire night?" the amazed MP replied. "You can't make a living on that." "Oh, don't worry," the whore replied. "I do a little blackmail on the side!"

The Big Test

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table... then they hid, pretending they were not at home. The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard. "So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it. Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined... Our son is going to be a politician!"