Driver's Test

3 friends, Bill, Paul and Tom, get pulled over for speeding. The officer is a very attractive lady, who slowly walks up to the window. After she asks for the Paul - the driver's - licence, he says, "Look, I can't afford this ticket, is there any way I could get you to tear it up?" The officer thinks for a moment and replies, "Okay, I'll tell you what... all of you guys show me your cocks, and if their total length is at least 21 inches you can go free." So Paul takes his out: 10 inches. Bill takes his out: also 10 inches. Tom takes his out: 1 inch making the total exactly 21 inches. The officer holds up her end of the deal, and leaves. After she's gone, Tom sighs and says, "Wow, it's a good thing I had a boner!"

Book Police

Q: Why did the book join the police force?
A: It was already under cover.

Policemen in Heaven

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids." "Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates." A few moments later a second man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers." "Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise." A few moments later a third man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a Military Policeman, Sir." "Excellent my son, I have to leave for a bit, watch the gate will you?"