Spell That For Me

A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name; she said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."

Worst Pullover

A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down, and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away. The policeman says, "License, registration, and proof of insurance please." "Before I give it to you, tell me what the hell you stopped me for, man," responds the driver. The policeman says, "Watch your tone sir, you ran the stop sign back there!" "Man, I slowed down, what the hell is the difference!?!" responds the driver. The police officer pulled out his night stick and began smashing it over the man's head and shoulders. "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!?!"

No Fishing

A man is fishing next to a No Fishing sign and sees a Sheriff coming his direction. He hides his fishing rod, and silently watches the water:
Good morning, officer, is it something wrong? Sheriff, "The sign says No Fishing, can't you read?" Man, "I'm not fishing sir, why would you think that?" Sheriff, "Because you have a bucket full of fish." Man, "Oh, that! Those fish are my pets, I take them here for a swim and when I whistle and they come back, jump back to the bucket and we go home." Sheriff, "Okay, show me."
The man proceeds to empty the bucket with the fish into the water, and waits.
(awkward silence)
Sheriff, "So...Are you going to call the fish?"
Man, "What fish?"