Blonde - Brain For Sale

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplants asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain here belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. And here we have a blonde's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

Blonde - Diet

A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "But, I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"

What a Health Plan!

Her Majesty the Queen was being shown around a hospital. As she was being given the guided tour by a senior consultant, they passed a room where a man was masturbating wildly through the window. Of course the Queen was not at all amused and demanded an explanation as to why these activities were allowed in the hospital.
"Ah," said the doctor, "Now, although it is perhaps unfortunate that you should have witnessed that, in fact, that poor patient is suffering from a very debilitating condition. He produces so much semen that unless he gets rid of it 4 times a day his testicles will explode."  "Oh," said Her Majesty. "Well, in that case I suppose it's understandable."  
Further down the corridor they passed another room. The door was open and you could see a nurse was clearly giving a patient oral sex. "Goodness Gracious!" shrieked Her Majesty, "I demand an explanation of this kind of sordid goings- on!"
"Ah," said the Doctor, "same problem - better health plan!"