Hemorrhoid Bath

My oldest daughter went to the doctor because she had hemorrhoids. She came home and followed his orders. Later that day I asked her what that smell was and she said, "The doctor told me to take a sh*t bath." I said, "Girl it's a sitzs bath!"

Farts Go Honda

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an abscessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Abscess makes the farts go Honda!"

Doctors Daiquiri

A Doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the Doctors drink waiting for him at precisely 5:03 PM. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The Doctor came in and took a sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender..."It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."