Free Advice at Social Affairs?

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, "I never know how to handle the situation when I'm asked for medical advice during a social function. Is it acceptable to send a bill for such advice?" The lawyer replied that it was certainly acceptable to do so.The next day, the doctor sent the ulcer-stricken man a bill. The lawyer also sent one to the doctor.

Let Me See

A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30. He is persuaded to have a medical exam first. "Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor. "Okay," says the medic, "let me see your sex organs." So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.

Holiday Nuts

Think I may be getting a vasectomy for Christmas. Just overheard my girlfriend tell her mom she was taking me to see the nutcracker.