Split Personality

Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.
Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!

Mistaken Identity

Went to a fancy dress party and everyone was dressed as either a nurse, a doctor or Freddy Krueger. When I made a comment on how unimaginative they all were, I was called "insensitive" and told to leave the hospital burns unit.

Dead Man's Booty Call

Three nurses working in a morgue discover a dead man with a hard on, the 1st Nurse says, "I can't let that go to waste," and rides him.  The 2nd Nurse does the same. The 3rd Nurse hesitates and explains she's on her period, but does him anyway. To their surprise the man sits up, wide awake. The Nurses apologize saying they thought he was dead. The man replies, "I was, but after two jump starts and a blood transfusion I feel frickin great!"