Profession Jokes - Cowboy Jokes

We Got a Lot of Those

Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, drinking and having a good time. The Texan takes a full bottle of the finest tequila, throws it up in the air and shoots it to pieces. The Californian and Oregonian are clearly dismayed at that show, and ask "Now what'd you go and do THAT for?" The Texan just drawled "Where I come from, we got a lot of those."
Not to be outdone, the Californian reaches in his saddle bag and pulls out a full bottle of the best Californian wine there is. He throws the bottle in the air, whips out his gun, and shoots it to pieces. The Oregonian and the Texan both groan, but the Californian is quick to point out, "Where I come from, we've got a lot of those."
Next the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of the best microbrew beer that Portland makes. He throws the bottle high up in the air, takes out his gun, shoots the Californian, catches the bottle, and proceeds to drink the beer. Horrified, the Texan asks why he would go and do a thing like that. "Well, where I come from, we got a lot of those, but the bottle's worth a nickel."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (California Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Oregon Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Texas Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes , Profession Jokes (Cowboy Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Lone Ranger and Tonto Troubles

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?" The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim." Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?" Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"

Categories: Profession Jokes (Cowboy Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Anonymous

The De-Ranged Cowboy

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys, back on the ranch, about his first visit to a big-city church ."When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,"  Joe began. "You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the gate," Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door,"  Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on ."That would be the usher," Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said. "You mean the aisle," Charlie said. "Then he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,"  Joe continued ."Pew," Charlie retorted ."Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."

Categories: Profession Jokes (Cowboy Jokes) , Religion Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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