Native American Time Telling

A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."

Any Accidents

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't never had one. Never." "Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

Choo Choo

Roy Rogers gets a brand new pair of cowboy boots. He leaves them out on the porch of his ranch house and, in the morning, discovers they’ve been gnawed by a mountain lion. Roy grabs a rifle and his horse and goes out to kill the varmint. Three hours later Roy’s back with a dead mountain lion tied across his saddle. A ranch-hand goes up to him and says, “Pardon me , Roy. Is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”