Engineer's Starting Salary

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"  The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."  The interviewer replies, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"  The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

Giving My Wife Back

After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over. "You know," says the cop, "I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?" "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

A Famous Surgeon on Safari in Africa

A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. "Oh, it was very disappointing," he said. "I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital!"