Religious Flossing

The dentist gave his patient a lecture on the importance of proper dental hygiene. He then asked him, "Have you been flossing religiously?" "Well," the man hedged, "I floss more often than I go to church."

Woman to the Gynecologist

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.
"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."

Photos

A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife. He asked me, “Ain’t she beautiful?”
I said “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my wife”
He replied with, “Why, is she a stunner as well?”
I said, “No, she’s an optician”