Ghosts Scare Talk Show Hosts

Q: What do you call ghosts who scare talk show hosts?
A: The Phantom of the Oprah.

Religious Flossing

The dentist gave his patient a lecture on the importance of proper dental hygiene. He then asked him, "Have you been flossing religiously?" "Well," the man hedged, "I floss more often than I go to church."

Woman to the Gynecologist

A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.
"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."