Help Please

I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking.
He told me he was busy and that I'd have to be a little patient.

Daddy's Occupation

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living. Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said. Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Psychiatrists to Screw in a Light Bulb

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes five sessions.