Samples Needed

My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen. I told him, "Just give them your underwear."

Doctor Visit

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. The Doctor says, "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" The biker replies, "Yes, Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!"

Light Bulb - Publishers

Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.