Writers' Quotes

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy: "I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.
William Faulkner: "I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87."
Steve Martin: "I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know."
Mel Brooks: "It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."
Robert Benchley: "A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction."

Yo Mama - Hold Up

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the police station and said, "Give me all your money!"

Human Anatomy

A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"