Doctor's Notes

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".

Pregnancy Excitement

A young lady had just visited her doctor and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share the good news with someone. The gentleman sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. "Sir," she said, "I just received the best news you could ever imagine. I have to share it with someone or I'll bust." She told him the news that the doctor had told her about being pregnant. The man shared her enthusiasm as he shared his experience. He said he was a farmer and he had trouble with his hens laying eggs. He stated that he went out to the hen house one morning and all of his hens had laid eggs. He was so happy, he added, "but confidentially, I changed cocks." The newly pregnant woman responded, "Confidentially, me too."

New Treasury Bonds

The U.S. Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of bonds:
1. The Al Gore bond, which has no interest
.2. The Monica Lewinsky bond, which has no maturity And...
3. The Bill Clinton Bond, which has no principal.