Grounds for Divorce

A woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a divorce. He is taking all of her background information and asks her, "Do you have grounds for a divorce?" To which she replies, "Well, we have three acres." "No, ma'am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?" asks the attorney. "No, I get up around 6:30 and he sleeps until 7:00," she responds. Feeling a little frustrated the attorney asks, "Lady, tell me, do you have a grudge?" Looking very confident she states, "No, we have a carport." At this point the lawyer has lost his patience and asks, "Look, Lady. Why the heck do you want a divorce?" "Because he can't hold an intelligent conversation!"

You're Back Again?

The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."

Head Nurse

Q: When you go to the hospital how do you find the head nurse?
A: Look for the nurse with dirty knees and swollen lips!