Repairing The Phone

A friend of mine was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises. After several days, the phone company was again contacted and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!

Lesser Of Two

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina, one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor while the other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the "lesser of two weevils."

Where's My Pen

A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole has my pen!!!"