Hiring An Accountant

Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?" "Twenty-two," Kowalski replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, Kowalski went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

Repetition

Q: Why is it fun to date teachers?
A: Because if you don't get it right the first time they make you do it again.

Signs Your Cow has Mad-Cow Disease

• Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
• She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
• Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.
• Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
• Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
• Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Archs Logo'.
• Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
• Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.
• Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.
• She starts giving you Milk of Amnesia.
• Your cow joins the Hell's Angels because, hey, it already has a cool leather jacket.
• Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.
• Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards.
• Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
• Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time.
• Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells "Bullseye"!
• Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called "LaCream Abdul Milkbar".
• Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.
• Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.
• You find your cow hiding secret plans to burn down half of Chicago.
• Your cow keeps wanting to chew other cows cuds.
• Your cow believes it could really jump over the moon like in the nursery rhyme if it had a really good run at it.