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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts
Why Email is like a Penis.
Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior.
They think it gives them power. They are wrong.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it.
Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark.
Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.
If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
It has its own agenda.
Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior.
Later you may ask yourself "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory.
Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
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Little Harry Walks In The Bathroom
Little Harry walks in the bathroom and sees his mum with no clothes on standing in front of him. He looks up at her private parts he asks "What's that mum ? " His mum frozen, tried to think what to say. Finally she came up with the following, "That's where your dad accidentially hit me with an axe!" and little Harry replies, "Good shot, right in the CUNT!"
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Experimental Surgery
Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except if you're willing to try an experimental treatment." Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, lets go for it." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girl friend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being uncomfortable. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a dinner roll and then returned to his pants. His girl friend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do that again?" Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I'm not sure I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!"
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