The Lord's Prayer Remix

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

E.T.s Eyes

Q: Why are E.T.s eyes so big?
A: Because he saw the phone bill.

Request For A Raise

The male sexual organ requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:

• Has to work hard
• Has to work at great depths
• Has to work upside down
• Has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work
• Has to work in a high humidity environment
• Has to work at high temperatures
• Does not get weekends and holidays off
• Does not get time off after extra hours of work
• Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.

Request DENIED for the following reasons:

• Does not work 8 hours in a row
• Does not answer immediately to all requests
• Does not have a degree
• After a short activity period, falls asleep at work
• Shows no fidelity to the workplace
• Retires too early
• Does not work at all unless pushed from behind
• Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.