E.T.s Eyes

Q: Why are E.T.s eyes so big?
A: Because he saw the phone bill.

Request For A Raise

The male sexual organ requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:

• Has to work hard
• Has to work at great depths
• Has to work upside down
• Has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work
• Has to work in a high humidity environment
• Has to work at high temperatures
• Does not get weekends and holidays off
• Does not get time off after extra hours of work
• Has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.

Request DENIED for the following reasons:

• Does not work 8 hours in a row
• Does not answer immediately to all requests
• Does not have a degree
• After a short activity period, falls asleep at work
• Shows no fidelity to the workplace
• Retires too early
• Does not work at all unless pushed from behind
• Does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.

Moosical Chairs

Q: What game do cows play at parties?
A: Moosical chairs!