Musical Chairs

Q: What did one chair say to another chair?
A: Here comes another asshole.

Wake Up Call

A guy wakes up to a woman next to him in bed and she was already awake. She says to him, "I have a confession to make, I was once a Christian."
The guy, still half-asleep says, "Oh that's okay babe, I've never really been one to care."
"Oh good," she replies, "I much prefer being a Christine anyways."

The Ram

Q: Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
A: He didn't see the ewe turn!