Winning

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He leaves the casino in a limo, calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife says, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Caribbean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."

Bathroom Joke

Q: If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
A: European.

Shoe Shopping

I shop for shoes the way black men hit on women. It has to jump out and grab me.