Got Nuts

A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "That's alright... do you have any dates?" He replies, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"

Great Trade

One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"

Shingles

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, shingles. The doctor asked, "Where?" Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want them?!"