Baby Names

Went to the doctor with Depression. People say I'm cruel for naming my daughter that, but my wife said we should name her after the state I was in when I heard the news.
Turns out she meant Georgia.

Congressional Question

If the prefix "con" is the opposite of the prefix "pro", then is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

The Knot

A string walks into a bar and asks the waiter for a beer. The waiter says, "I am sorry but we can't serve strings here."
The string goes home, ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair. He goes back to the bar about an hour later, sits down and says, "Waiter, give me a beer." The waiter says, "Hey, aren't you the string who came in here earlier?"
The string replies, "No, I'm a fraid knot."