Today's Special

A hardware store has a sign that reads: "Today's special." (Then, below it, in pencil): "So's tomorrow."

Short Word Play

The shortest word play joke ever... Dwarf shortage.

Boy Ringing the Church Bell

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."