Hellman's Mayonnaise

Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate ("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as ... Sinko de Mayo. 

Bean Soup

Q: Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
A: Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

Baby's Motto

Q: What's a baby's motto?
A: If at first you don't succeed - cry, cry again!