6 Ways Footballs Are Like Blondes

6. Both are made out of plastic.
5. Both are full of hot air.
4. Both are frequently passed from man to man.
3. Both have been known to score.
2. Both are often handled by hot, sweaty guys on television.
1. Women aren't especially fond of them.

Santa Check

He's making a list, he's checking it twice. Three times. Four. Five. Six. Seven.
Santa's OCD is getting out of hand.

Scooby Doobie Boobies!

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, 'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'" She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up right in the middle of the bus and said, "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!" A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?" "Why, yes, I do. How did you know?" "Hickory dickory dock"!