Christmas Shopping

Q: Where does the queen do her Christmas shopping?
A: Newcastle!

No Legs, Ditch

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a ditch?
A: Phil.

Little Red Man

There was a little red man who lived in a little red house on a little red street in a little red town. Now this little red man wanted to take a little red shower so he put his little red towel on the little red towel rack. Just as he was about to get in, the little red doorbell rang. So he put his little red towel around his little red waist and went to the little red door. He opened the little red door and there stood a woman. Just then a big gust of wind came and blew the little red towel away. The woman screamed, ran across the road and got hit by a car. The moral of the story? Never run across the road when the little red man is flashing.