Genie and the Beer

Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out. A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, "You get one wish between the two of you-- make it a good one." The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. "Lemme handle this-- I know just what to ask for!" He looks at the genie and says, "We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer!"  The genie nods and says, "You got it, boys!" And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer! The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, "You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?" "Whadaya talking about?"  the other fisherman answers. "I thought you'd like a lake-full of beer. What's the problem?" "I do like it... but the problem is... now we gotta piss in the boat!!!!"

Expensive Fishing

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. It cost a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home, they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one pathetic fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then, it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

Going Fishing

Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.