Finals Prayer

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty. If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk. But if I do, don't pity me at all, just lay my bones in the study hall. Tell my prof I did my best, then pile my books upon my chest. Now I lay me down to rest and pray I'll pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I'll have to take.

Great Plains

Teacher: What are the Great Plains?
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!

A Dikfer on Your Head

"Hey, there's a dikfer on your forehead?" "A what?" "A dikfer." "What's a dikfer?" "Well, if you don't know I'm not gonna tell you."