Vampire New Year

Q: What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A: "Auld Fang Syne"!

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody

This is a story about four people named Everbody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everbody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Company Downsizing

A company boss has to decide who to fire. He narrows it down to two low level management employees: Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, "I will have to lay you or Jack off."