Extreme Circumcision

A man went to his doctor and said, "I want to be castrated." "What?" said the doctor, "surely you don't want that." "Yes," said the man, "that's what I want; I insist." So, the doctor told him to check into the hospital. When he did he was stripped, laid on a cart, wheeled into the operating room, anaesthetized, and CHWOP!  off they came. The next day, he woke up in a double room and, wanting to be socialable, asked the man in the next bed what he was in for. "Oh, I was circumcised," the man said. "Son of a bitch! That's the word I was looking for!"

Emergency Kit

Josh was helping Sally, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled "Emergency Repair Kit." Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Sally what it was for. She said, "It's part of my emergency repair kit." Josh said, "I can see that, but why?" Sally replied, "In case I have a flat and need to blow up one of my tires."

Cooking With The Bible

Newlyweds Kaitlyn and Brandon were having an argument about who should brew the coffee. Brandon said, "You're in charge of cooking, so you should do it." Kaitlyn replied, "No, you should do it because it says in the Bible that the man makes the coffee." Brandon was shocked to hear this and asked his beautiful new blonde wife to show him the passage. Full of excitement, Kaitlyn ran to the Good Book to prove for the first time how wrong her new husband was. She opened the Bible and pointed to where it said: "HEBREWS"