Where's the Beef

Q: What does a cannibal have in his freezer?
A: A pound of ground chuck.

Yo Mama - Family Reunion

Yo mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.

Bar Talk

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. "Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it. "Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere. "Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him. "It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts."