Getting 10 Fat Cows in Your Basement

Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!

Mary Poppins Moved

It seems that Mary Poppins has moved to California. She has started a business telling people's fortunes. But, she doesn't read palms or tea leaves, she smells one's breath. That, right, the sign outside reads: Super California Mystic Expert Halitosis.

Paper Cutter

Q: Did you hear about the person who could rip a piece of paper just by looking at it?
A: He had tearable vision.