Mint Breath

You have "mint" breath... Mint to brush your teeth and forgot!

Answering Machine - Twilight Phone

Rod Serling imitation: You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".

Neighbor Kids on Front Lawn

Q: How do you keep the neighborhood kids off your front lawn? 
A: You molest them!.