Texas Hooker

This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big way down here in Texas."  "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.  She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?"  The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."

Michigan State Fans

Q: What do you get when you have a basement full of Michigan State fans?
A: A whine cellar.

Nurse Conversations

Several nurses on break in the Boston General cafeteria were discussing boyfriends, past and present. Suddenly, a nurse from New York City said, "Well, I have discovered men are all alike!" Whereupon, a pert little nurse from Dallas laughed and slapped the table. "Gal," she said, "men are all ah like, too!"