Boston Indians

In late 2014 the Wampanoag Indians asked their Chief  if the winter was going to be cold and snowy. Not really knowing an answer, the chief takes a guess and tells the members of the village to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the library and checked the internet forecast from the National Weather Service. He was happy to see that their data agreed with message he gave his village. So the now confident Chief went back with a more urgent message to his people to collect even more wood and to be prepared. A month later he again visited the library and checked the forecast.  The new forecast predicted even colder temperatures and huge snowfall. So the chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood. Two weeks later he makes one final check with the National Weather Service. This time he calls and speaks with one of their senior forecasters, gets an even colder forecast with even more snow and asks the agent how they can be so certain. The man replies, "The Indians in Boston are collecting wood like crazy!"

Loudest State

Q: What is the loudest state?
A: ILLI-NOISE

Pretty Big

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation. There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.
The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park. "What's that?" says the Texan.
"Oh! That's Queens Park," says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government. Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big."
"Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large," says the Texan. They continue along and past First Canadian Place.
"Holy cow," says the Texan, "What's that?"
"Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country," says the Cabby, "it took almost 4 years to build."
"Really," says the Texan, "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time."
They continue on the way, the cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past the CN Tower. Now the Texan has his head out the window looking up at the 1850' tower and rotating restaurant at 1300.
"Holy Crap!" says the Texan. "What in gods name is that? How long did it take to build that!"
The Cabby nonchalantly glances out the window and says, "Heck if I know, it wasn't there yesterday!"