Computers Must Be Male

Top 10 reasons computers must be male:

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
4. It is always necessary to have a backup.
5. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
6. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
7. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
8. The lights are on but nobody's home.
9. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
10. Size does matter.

Top 10 New Summer Camps!

Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to:
10. Tommy Lee's; Camp Kickachickee
9. Lorena Bobbit's; Camp Cutaweewee
8. Tanya Harding's; Camp Wackaneenee
7. Kenneth Star's; Camp Catchacrookee
6. Louis Farakahn's; Camp Killawhitey
5. O.J. Simpson's; Camp Killachickee
4. Michael Jackson's; Camp Wannabewhitey
3. President Clinton's; Camp Getahoochie
2. Ellen Degeneras's; Camp Lickacoochie
1. Monica Lewinsky's; Camp Suckapeepee

The Top Bad Excuses For Speeding

1. "This is my tryout for Nascar."
2. "I've got to get back to Amish Country before they realize that I am missing."
3. "That McDonald's offer is for a Limited Time only and buddy, that could run out at ANYTIME!"
4. "I'm trying to rush home for the new Hanson video debut on MTV."
5. "Cause those Gorditas rule."
6. "Uh-Oh..Wapner's on...I'm an excellent driver."
7. "Trying to see how fast a Yugo can go."
8. "Umm..I'm drunk?"
9. "Trying to outrun the radio signal that is playing that lousy Alannis Morisette "Uninvited" song!"