Internet Can Get Worse

Top ten ways the Internet could get worse;
10. Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line.
9. "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment, declare internet lawyers Canter & Siegel.
8. Home shopping "network".
7. Netrek corporate sponsors. Out: Orion, Pollux, Klingus. In: Planet Bud, Toyota Prime, Intelworld.
6. Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums.
5. Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team".
4. Free netcom account with purchase of big mac.
3. GameBoy web browsers.
2. Tipper Gore cancel-bot unleashed onto the net.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THE INTERNET CAN GET WORSE
1. Two words: "Microsoft Network"

Top 10 New Intel Slogans For the Pentium

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
9.9999973251 - It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
8.9999163362 - It's the new math
7.9999414610 - Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 - You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 - Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 - We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 - Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 - Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 - We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 - The Errata Inside

Top 10 - Basketball vs Sex

TOP 10 REASONS BASKETBALL IS BETTER THAN SEX...
10. Ball movement is key
9. You can set it up or go for the fastbreak
8. If you need a break, you can call a 20 second timeout
7. There is a coach telling you when to "Take it to the hole"
6. Being double-teamed is common
5. You can pass it off, so your buddy can score
4. If scouts like your performance, you turn pro
3. You know you are done when the horn sounds
2. You always try to score within 24 seconds
1. There's always someone with a towel to clean up any wet spots