Why Men Should Join the Church Choir

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who's Praying, Who's Sleeping?"

7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you've been singing with us for a few weeks.

5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it's soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it's a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

3. If you think you've done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Miami Dolphins. (Don't worry, though, the rehearsals are on Wednesday, not Monday Nights.)

1. When people ask you whether you've been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, "Hey, I'm a Choir Boy."

Dog Rules

The dog is not allowed in the house.
Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
The dog is allowed in all rooms but has to stay off the furniture.
The dog can get on the old furniture only.
Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

Your Dentist Is Crazy

The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy

1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
2. His restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders"
3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
4. Does an extensive search for cavities...dental and body.
5. He licks his tools clean.
6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed lie.
7. When you come to from being under the gas, he's quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.
8. Wears a necklace made of human teeth.
9. Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.
10. Insists that a Novacaine shot is something that he'll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.