Top Ten Reasons For Being English

1. Two World Wars and one World Cup
2. Proper beer
3. You can confuse everyone with the rules for cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously
5. Union Jack Underpants
6. You can live in the past and imagine that you're still a world power
7. You can bathe once a week whether you need to or not
8. You can change your underwear once a week whether you need to or not
9. Beats being Scottish
10. Beats being Welsh

Murphy's Law Regarding Children

1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
5. Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.
6. If the shoe fits.. it's expensive.
7. The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
8. The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
9. Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
10. The more challenging the child, the more rewarding it is to be a parent.. sometimes.

Why Men Should Join the Church Choir

10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who's Praying, Who's Sleeping?"

7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you've been singing with us for a few weeks.

5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it's soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it's a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

3. If you think you've done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Miami Dolphins. (Don't worry, though, the rehearsals are on Wednesday, not Monday Nights.)

1. When people ask you whether you've been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, "Hey, I'm a Choir Boy."