Star Wars - One Liners

10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

Puppies Don't Surf The Web

Why Dogs don't surf the web...

• Can't stick their heads out of Windows 2000.
• Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
• Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
• Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
• Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
• Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
• Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
• Cause dogs aren't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
• Barking in the next cubical keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
• SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
• SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
• Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
• Butt-sniffing is more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

Dr. McCoy and the Physical

The new ensign reported to sickbay for her physical. When stripped, Dr. McCoy nodded approvingly and said, "You look nice and trim.
"Thanks," she answered. "I weigh one hundred pounds stripped for gym."
McCoy shook his head. "That guy has all the luck!"