The 24 BBS Commandments

1. Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes.
2. Thou shalt remember thy name and password.
3. Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day. Honor thy SysOp.
4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's password, nor his or her real name, computer, software, nor any other thing belonging to him or her.
5. Thou shalt not post messages that are stupid, worthless, or have no meaning.
6. Thou shalt use the English language properly.
7. Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible.
8. Thou shalt delete thine olden messages.
9. Thou shalt help other users.
10. Thou shalt not post anonymously when offering criticism.
11. Thou shalt keep thy foul language to thyself. Woe be unto the user who attempt to crash thy BBS, for he or she shalt be cast out from the sanctuary of thy hobby and must repent by doing 40 days and 40 nights of penance of voice-only communications.
12. Thou shalt first dial BBS numbers during the day by way of voice line to assure correct numbers.
13. Thou shalt not post messages while drunk.
14. Thou shalt confine thy messages to those of friendship, requests for assistance, aid to the needy, advice, and advancement of thy hobby; and
15. thou art obligated to repel any who wouldst transgress upon those commandments.
16. If thou doth promise to reply to a message and thou doth not, then surely thou shalt spill coffee into thy keyboard and burn out thy central processing chip.
17. Thou shalt not giveth any false information when applying for membership to a BBS, for verily it is written that whosoever shall do so will surely be found out and thy welcome on all boards will be thus denied forever and ever.
18. Thou shalt log on properly and in accordance with the SysOp's rules.
19. Thou shalt observe BBS time limits.
20. Thou shalt not upload "worm" programs.
21. Thou shalt not ask stupid questions that are already fully explained in the BBS instructions.
22. Thou shalt not exchange copy protected software thru the BBS.
23. Thou shalt not violate applicable state/federal/local laws hand regulations affecting BBS telecommunications, or thy will feel the wrath of thy judicial system.
24. Thou shalt not hack.

Texas Brothers

Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in Texas. One day Trevor rides on his bike into town and he sees a building on fire, so he goes back home and tells his brother, "Herman, Herman there is a fire and people are getting burned!"
His brother says, "Oh, that was on the radio -- that's old news."
So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a bank being robbed, so he rides back home and says, "Herman, Herman there is bank being robbed and people are getting shot and killed!" His brother says, "Oh that was on the radio -- that's old news." So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a pig stuck in a fence and starts to thinkin'... Then he rides home and says, "Herman Herman! I had my first sexual experience today!" His brother says, "In a pig's ass." And Trevor replies, "Oh, you and your stupid radio."

Tech Writers to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: It should be obvious to an intelligent user.