iSwat

I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century, old man," he said. "We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here, you can borrow my iPad."
I can tell you, that fly never knew what hit it…

Klingon Lightbulb

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None, burned out light bulbs have NO honor.  And a true Klingon Warrior is not afraid of the dark!

Texting Trouble

A man received text message from his neighbor:
"Sorry sir, I am using your wife, day and night when you aren't home. I'm confessing this to you because I feel very guilty. I hope you will accept my sincere apology".
The man was so angry he killed his wife.
A few minutes later he received another text message :
"Damn auto correct! Sorry sir, spelling mistake, wi fi - not wife".