Jungle Hazard

A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.

Tee Time!

A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the PA system, "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees please move back to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the idiot on the PA shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!

Duffer Golf

The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching. "What club should I use now?" he asked the pro. "I don't know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"