Jungle Hazard

A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.

Tee Time!

A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the PA system, "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees please move back to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the idiot on the PA shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!

Japanese Prostitute

A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town. Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever. Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients. As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!" All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?"