Squirrels

Two guys decide to go on a hunting trip. When there friend hears about it, he begges to go. The two men are skeptical, because every time there friend goes, he scares away all the game. The friend promises that if he is allowed to go, he will stay at the camp site, because he likes to camp more than hunt. They agree and they start on their trip. Once camp is set up, the two men decide to go hunt, and their friend stays behind. After several hours they finally spot a ten point buck, but a shrill scream scares the buck away. The two men run back to camp, only to find their friend standing there looking up into the trees. "What's wrong?" They asked. "Yeah, you scared off our game." "I'm sorry, fellas. I didn't scream when the snake fell out of the tree and wrapped aound my neck. I didn't yell when the bear came out of the woods and mauled me nearly to death. But those SQUIRELS..." What had happened to the poor man was that two squirels had climbed up his pants leg. The first squirel asked the second, "Do we eat them NOW, or do we take them HOME?"

Blank Sheet Assignment

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions. "Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher. "Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."

The Foo Bird.

A man went to Africa to do some game hunting. While there, he hired a young native to accompany him as his guide. Soon, a large flock of birds flew overhead and the hunter took aim. The guide grabbed his arm and said, "Oh, no! These are foo birds and to shoot one means terrible things will happen to you!" The man figured that was only a superstition of the natives and shot one down. Then the rest of the flock returned and pooped all over him. He hollered at the boy, "I must have some water right away to wash this mess off. The boy said "Oh no! To wash the crap of the foo bird off means sudden death immediately!" Again the hunter ignored his advice, found water and got cleaned off. Sure enough he dropped dead then and there. The moral of this story is "If the foo shits, wear it."