Lighting a Football Stadium

Q: What lights up a football stadium?
A: A football match!

Polish Hunters

Two Polish hunters, named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big bull moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear, and one moose. 
The hunters objected, saying, "We shot two last year, the pilot let us take them both, and he had exactly the same airplane as yours." The pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, reluctantly gave in and everything was loaded. 
However even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load, and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Surrounded by the moose, clothing, and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad somehow survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?" Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

Pub Fishing

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing. “Fishing”, replied the old man. Poor old fool, thought the gentlemen. So, he decided he would invite the old man to have a drink in the pub. Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, “And, how many have you caught today?” 
“You're the sixth,” he answered.