Lawyer's Personal Injury

A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
"I'm an attorney," the wincing man said, "and this is going to cost you $5000."
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," the concerned golfer replied. "But I did yell 'fore'."
"I'll take it," the attorney said.

Mets Fans

On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?" Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied bye raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.
The teacher asked, "Who do you like, little girl?" Rosie replied, "I'm a Yankees fan and I hate the Mets." The teacher asked why and Rosie told her that her parents were Yankees fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, "So if Rosie's parents were idiots, what would that make her?"
Rosie chimed in, "A Mets fan!!!"

Lakers Fans

A Kindergarten teacher tells her class she's a BIG Lakers fan. She's really excited about it and asks the kids if they're Lakers fans too. Everyone wants to impress the teacher and says they're Lakers fans too, except one kid named Josh. The teacher looks at Josh and says, "Josh, you're not a Lakers fan?"
He says, "Nope, I'm a Sacrmento Kings fan!"
She says, "Well why are you a Sacrmento Kings fan and not a Lakers fan?"
Josh says, "Well, my mom is a Sacrmento Kings fan, and my dad is a Sacrmento Kings fan, so I'm a Sacrmento Kings fan."
The teacher's not real happy. She's a little hot under the collar. She says, "Well, if your mom's an idiot, and your dad's a moron, then what would you be?!"
Josh says, "Then I'd be a Lakers fan!"