Inventing golf

Along time ago two Scottsmen are in a pub. One Scottsman says, "I'm going to invent a game." The second man asks, "What do you have to do?" The first man says, "You have to get a ball in a hole." The second man asks, "So it's like billiards?" The first man says, "No, it's going to be much farther away." The second man asks "So, it's something like bowling?" The first man says, "No, it's going to be played on grass, and it's going to twist and turn." So the second man asks, "So it's kind of like croquet?" The first man says, "NO, I'm going to put in tall grass, and water, and sand, and trees, just to piss you off!" So the second man asks, "So you do this once?" The first man replies, "NO, you do it EIGHTEEN TIMES!!"

Polo Players

Q: What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the saddle?
A: Poloroids.

Which Football Team?

Q: Which football team loves ice-cream?
A: Aston Vanilla!